Enabling or Helping

What’s on my mind as it’s 5:00 am on a Friday, or better yet what isn’t. Why do our minds decide to work triple time when we are trying to SLEEP!?

Being a parent to six children has come with many sleepless nights over the years ranging from colic to a multitude of a million other reasons!


Before going to bed last night I was listening to Dave Ramsey. A caller had asked a question we have been faced with several times,"should we let our troubled twenty some year old move back in our home?" It seems like a very easy question to answer from the outside. The truth is it’s NOT, it has proven to be one of the hardest if not THE hardest decisions we have had to make as parents! It really comes down to two choices. Do we let our child live on the streets or with God knows who, or do we allow them to live with us under certain rules and conditions that we know they will most likely break?



This decision is not easy and certainly is not as cut and try and without emotion as it may seem . This is the same child you rocked to sleep for at night or when they were sad You wipes their tears. The same one you put on the kindergarten bus and were so tiny they could barely make it up the big bus steps. The same child who won the "most like Jesus" award in Sunday school class and the same one who cried every single time you dropped him off at second grade. The same one who received only positive comments from his teachers and the one who received the "most humble" soccer player award in high school.


Here’s the thing… We are never supposed to make major life decisions based on emotion. Parenthood kind of throws that a curve ball as all those memories cloud judgement I am left with what could I live with if the worst would happen and I didn’t do enough.

With strict rules in place my 20 something child moved back under our roof.
So as I lay here at 5:00 am August 2, I know my child is safe. At least for tonight!

Spring is here

HAPPY SPRING!

Wow the first day of spring already. I know many of you are saying finally, but i'm saying, it seems like It was just Christmas! 

What do you look forward to the most about spring? I love the green grass and the flowers beginning to bloom. The smell of new fresh cut grass and feeling the warm sunshine after the cold winter. I love seeing the baby bunnies hoping around in the yard. I love finally being able to open the deck door and feeling the breeze.

As a kid spring meant more time outside playing with friends and the anticipation of summer vacation just around the corner. It meant Easter egg hunts, Easter baskets and more chocolate candy than anyone could imagine.

What does being mean to you or what is your favorite memory of spring!

Addiction UPDATE

As many of you know our family suffers with constant and continual fear. The fear is real and horrifying, with the ramifications of the aftermath having the potential to be nothing short of complete devastation. Its a monster that could rear it ugly head at ANY given day or hour. This monster is know as Addiction. It effects our son who is otherwise a normal functioning individual who was once a superstar athlete as well as an honor student in the not so distant past.

This is what I live by

How have things been? 
Lots of people who care and love us and him always ask as i'm sure many of you wonder. This is a question that is a tough one to answer. Right now, at this moment things seem to be fairly calm. Good?
 No, I wouldn't say good, as that is a word is reserved for a time, hopefully in the future, when I can say with certainly that things are good. A time when any remains of the addition are long in the past with the clouds gone and the sun shining consecutively for some time. A time that when if we haven't heard from our son for a day doesn't lead to our minds wondering to crazy scary thoughts immediately. A time when an unknown local number calling doesn't sink our heart to our feet. OR when the stress of all the stress leads to short tempers between family members!

We live in constant fear..as we continue to pray! Meanwhile our marriage and family are along for the bumpy ride they call Addiction and I call pure and simple HELL!!!

Our Pennsylvania Christmas 2018 (a little late)

I know I am several weeks late writing this Christmas blog, but better late than never. 

Our Christmas's here in Pa are usually cold and sometimes we have snow. This year we had the cold, but unfortunately we did not have snow. The weeks leading up to Christmas were a little crazy as I had had surgery Nov. 30. For the most part, we were ready for the big day!

As always Kaylee and Jaxson came to stay for several days. Jaxson, being four, is at the perfect age for the magic of Christmas. From him explaining Mary and Josephs travels to Bethlehem where baby Jesus was born, to being intrigued about Santa Claus and the elves. Its truly a magical age and we love reliving it through him!

Christmas morning we have everyone here for gift opening and breakfast.We had a large selection of food, coffee, juices and of course mimosas. Our local donut shop had the BEST Santa donuts which were delicious! I decided to break an 11+ year tradition and make two new casserole dishes for breakfast. They were delicious and I will definitely make them again next year! 

After everyone got their food, we headed in the family room to open presents. Santa had come and Jaxson wasn't waiting any longer!!!

Every year there is what I call a "Gift of the year", which is one thing most of the girls in our family ask for, want, or need. Last year it was Sperry duck boots. The year before it was Vineyard Vines everything. This year it was a titanium hair straightener and Patagonia jackets. The family gift, which was a surprise for even my husband, was the Nintendo Switch. I love this gaming system as it has lots of classic Mario Brother Games and other classics. So far it has been a huge hit for the entire family!

As another Holiday season ends, I am reminded once again that time with family and friends is what really matters in life. This year we were very blessed to have the entire family together under one roof! We are so thankful for this and realize it may not always be this way...

And to all a good night!!!

New Year, New Me

Happy 2019 Everyone!
 As most people have made their resolutions, this will be the first year in my lifetime that I am actually doing the same. I have never made them as I just think that if I really want to do something bad enough I will do it whether its the New Year or not. Not to mention that 80% of New Years resolutions fail by February! Never the less this year I am making them. Lets see how many I can keep!

First, I am going to try to trust in God more than ever before and try to worry less about things I can't control! (easier said than done)

Second, I want to loose at least 20 pounds this year. I have already lost 7 since Nov so i'm on my way...I'm not going to mention that most of that was due to a major surgery I had to have...LOL

Third, I want to start to be more positive and talk less crap about people who annoy me. (just being honest)

Forth, I want to be a better wife! I don't want to let the little things (like weird behaviors of my husband) make me go insane or just get mean. I want all the small things that really don't matter to roll off of my back.

Fifth and Final, I want to spend less money on things we or I don't really need! Its so hard especially when new seasons began and so many pretty things come out...Note to myself...stay out of Hobby Lobby and Homegoods!

A bonus Resolution of course...I am going to blog much more this year...once a week hopefully!

Stayed tuned to see how I am doing with my resolutions with monthly updates and early next week look for a 2018 Christmas in Pa Blog!

Life Lately

I know I have been MIA and i'm sorry for the long lull from my crazy life writings.

A quick update then on to more important events...First and foremost we have for the most part been healthy and trying to enjoy our summer thus far. Mitch finished 8th grade and is officially a high schooler! YIKES did I just say that!!!??? He is living the life this summer with lots of fun activities and tons of vacations planned. 

Mitchell, unfortunately, is one of the victims in the crossfire of addiction! Yes, we are still battling my other sons addiction. I hate to say it but it is at an all time high! I can not stress enough the effect this has on every single one of his family members in one capacity or another. It leads to mistrust as they very commonly lie to everyone about everything most or all of the time. It is heartbreaking to watch someone you love disappear right before your eyes and not being able to do anything to help. So my goal is to focus on what we can control which focuses on Mitchell and the rest of the family. More about all of this later in another blog.

So this summer has been full of fun vacations, family reunions and long pool days. We are

trying to enjoy our summer as we feel like we are often robbed of happy times due to all the worry and crisis modes we go through continually.

First week of summer Mitchell went to an awesome Christian camp in upstate Pa. This was his second year attending and each year he has come back more excited than the previous one. He always comes home with new wisdom and a look at life! He is becoming a great follower of Jesus and a nice young man! 

In late June the family went to Wildwood, NJ for a week. I sat this vacation out as we have a new puppy and I didn't want to leave her anywhere yet. YES, I said a new puppy!!! Not quite five weeks ago we got a female Chocolate and tan long haired mini dachshund. Her name is Lucy, of course following suit with the Peanuts theme!  Snoopy is adjusting nicely and we are all in love with her!!! Unfortunately, We lost our 11 year old dachshund, Snickers, to cushioning disease several months ago. We wanted to introduce the puppy to Snoopy before loosing Snickers but it didn't happen that way. Although we are not trying to replace Snickers, the joy of a new puppy helps the heart heal...






The first week of July we spent at Lake George. I know in the past I have rant and raved about it there, but it really is my heaven on earth. The lake is a beautiful body of water that is surrounded by mountain ranges and situated at the southeast base of the Adirondack Mountains. The water is fairly clear and clean. The cabin is situated directly across from Fort Ticonderoga...

After getting home July 9th from the Lake the rest of the month has been flying by! Mitchell went with a friend to the Outer Banks on Vacation a two weeks ago and had a ball. Saturday we are leaving for Myrtle Beach for a week. Thankfully, Jessica and Brian are watching the dogs, otherwise Jim was going to have to stay home as we do not feel comfortable leaving them with just anyone.

By the time we get back from that vacation, Mitchell has soccer try outs for the high school the next day, then school starts for him on the 23rd. Another summer gone by way to fast! I am excited for the fall as its my favorite season and I am starting to dislike the heat more and more in my advanced age!  LOL. Have a wonderful week and rest of your summer!

The Good, Bad and the Ugly

Having six kids has sure been an adventure all its own. It has made me Crazy, broke, more patient, less anal and less judgmental of people and their kids. When you have kids ranging from 1day old to 15 you learn fast that nothing is set in stone and to be ready for plans to change on a dime. Type A personality can NOT survive in this world! Even now with the youngest being 14 and the oldest being 29, there is always something going on and plans changing all of the time. Yes, we still have bickering and arguments over clothing, cleaning, wash, etc.



Growing up my best friend was from a large family of seven children. I was always very envious of her as there was always something going on at her house. Someone was always baking, making something, or there was some type of activity that was fun was happening. I knew from then that I wanted to have a large family God willing.



The Good:

The day that Kaylee had Jaxson is a day that will forever stick in my mind. All five of the siblings came simultaneously baring gifts for the baby with smiles from ear to ear waiting to meet their first nephew. Kaylee’s face was priceless showing off her little baby to all of her siblings. Although she didn’t have a stable relationship with the babies father, she did have these awesome siblings that loved her and the baby from the second he was born.

Holidays especially are always so much fun. Tons of food, conversation and of course craziness! Savanna’s boyfriend is an only child. When they first started dating over  two years ago, he looked like a deer in headlights at family get together’s. Now, two years later he is used to the chaos and even joins in on it.

The BAD

I think a large family has a language all their own. We tend to have names for the bad times. For instance, we have the Christmas cookie baking Fiasco. Long story short. We planned for weeks to get together and bake Christmas cookies. (It was going to be like something you see in the movies.) Well, that didn’t turn out that way. The girls started bickering about something or other, and two stormed out leaving just two of the girls and me. OR the New Jersey ice cream cone incident. Just imagine four girls driving in a car with three ice cream cones. Somehow a fight broke out One ice cream cone ended up in someone’s hair, the other two out the window. I wasn’t there for that one but I can imagine!

The UGLY

Unfortunately, their are some tough times that really effect the sibling relationships. When one of the kids is making bad decisions over and over again their trust is lost. It takes a toll to the point that some of them don't want that one around anymore as they feel like they are enabling the behavior and the other kids are feeling bad for him. Its a super tough situation that there is NO real right or wrong answer for! As a parent it sucks and seems so unrepairable! Praying and hoping is the only thing to do in this situation.


I imagine if I asked each child individually if they liked growing up in a large family, we would get mixed reviews, but I think most would say YES! The action never ends and someday when we are gone they will all have each other to cling to in the good, bad and the ugly times!