Monday, September 26, 2016

The Ugly truth about Addiction

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I was that person!
The person who knew that I will do a better job than THAT raising my kids! 
They will obey their parents and if not would be punished and with the way we will be they will turn out GREAT! 
They will not end up like my niece, cousins kid or neighbors kid who talk back! 
And, oh yea, they will be potty trained at two and will get good grades! 
And when they are 18 they are going to college and moving out of the house...

Tell me we all didn't or don't have those feelings. Raising kids is nothing you can read about or plan how you are going to react in different situations. You heart and world is walking around in those kids! Thus one of my favorite quotes. 
'Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ' ... quote from Elizabeth Stone. 

 They are your life no matter what age they are, you route for them and always want the best for them. Its hard to imagine when they are babies and young children that they may be the one who goes down a dark and scary path, and that there is no amount of love, knowledge or expert parenting you can do to stop it!!! It SUCKS....

One of our six kids is an addict. I will not go into detail but to say that an addict isn't always drugs or alcohol although it can lead to it. This child was loved and raised the same way as the child who is now a lawyer, social worker, insurance adjuster. Nothing traumatic happened to this child. He/She is and was very bright, very athletic and is loved by all who knew or know him/her. All the stereotypes
of what we all have in our heads of an addict don't fit here!!!

To look back at that happy little face from years past literally crushes my heart. All the memories of their childhood when they were always smiling seems like another lifetime ago. What happened? How did it happen? Why did it happen? You can't imagine how many times I have wondered this just to come to the same conclusion...Maybe if he didn't hang with this kid or that. Maybe if we let him go more places, Maybe this and maybe that! Its no ones fault. It happens for whatever reason as heart wrenching as it is! Sometimes I wish I could relive every day again to examine everything we/they did and maybe change something...

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 All I can say is when you're dealing with a situation like this  you must continue going forward one step at a time, one hour at a time, day at a time, or month at a time.  Looking back or forward at this point is not a good thing. You just have to continue with your head up praying like crazy because this one is so out of anyone's  league!!!

 When people tell you having kids will change your life,  it's the real deal. It's hard when their babies, toddlers, preschoolers, elementary schoolers.  But the real challenge comes later. When we look ourselves in the mirror  and  answer the question that hopefully not one of  you will ever have to ask yourself.... Am I the reason my child is an addict???

 Finally I can say no to that question without a doubt!  And I will keep on keeping on because that's the only thing  left for me to do!

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Back to School

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So last Thursday was the first day of school. Mitchell is the only one in the house that is not out of school or in college. To think at one point we had 6 kids in one school or another! They were the
crazy days.

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I can remember going back to school shopping for clothes and supplies. It literally cost us a fortune! One of the years I was in the hospital pregnant with Mitchell so it was up to Jim to do the back to school shopping of which he had never done and he HATES shopping. We had Taylor who was in kindergarten, then the rest were teens or pre teens. He took them to the mall and handed the credit card to Jessica and told her to go pick out whatever she Savanna and Taylor needed or wanted. Then gave one to Cory and told him the same for him and Kaylee. He said it was great because he didn't have to shop and they loved it! I don't think he knew what things cost because when the bills came in he was shocked. Of course all clothing had to be approved by me before they wore anything to school but they did a great job and nothing had to be returned!

I have it very easy now because most things Mitchell wants are online at Dick's or so we really don't need to leave the house except to get shoes that we can also get online if we wanted. This year I didn't buy a lot before school started as I knew he may change what he likes a bit and it's still Crazy hot here!!!

We were pleasantly surprised when we moved to Pa that we needed to buy very little school supplies for school. This is after needing TONS for the old schools in Md.

So far this year is going well for Mitchell. There has been no complaints at ALL and he seems to like it! He has had some anxiety in the past about school so this is a nice change for him and us! I think with him its the fear of the unknown with new a new school year and the fear of not doing well. I think we are lucky he cares so much!

Hope the year continues to be a healthy and productive one!