I was that person!
The person who knew that I will do a better job than THAT raising my kids! They will obey their parents and if not would be punished and with the way we will be they will turn out GREAT!
They will not end up like my niece, cousins kid or neighbors kid who talk back!
And, oh yea, they will be potty trained at two and will get good grades!
And when they are 18 they are going to college and moving out of the house...
Tell me we all didn't or don't have those feelings. Raising kids is nothing you can read about or plan how you are going to react in different situations. You heart and world is walking around in those kids! Thus one of my favorite quotes.
'Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ' ... quote from Elizabeth Stone.
They are your life no matter what age they are, you route for them and always want the best for them. Its hard to imagine when they are babies and young children that they may be the one who goes down a dark and scary path, and that there is no amount of love, knowledge or expert parenting you can do to stop it!!! It SUCKS....
One of our six kids is an addict. I will not go into detail but to say that an addict isn't always drugs or alcohol although it can lead to it. This child was loved and raised the same way as the child who is now a lawyer, social worker, insurance adjuster. Nothing traumatic happened to this child. He/She is and was very bright, very athletic and is loved by all who knew or know him/her. All the stereotypes
of what we all have in our heads of an addict don't fit here!!!
To look back at that happy little face from years past literally crushes my heart. All the memories of their childhood when they were always smiling seems like another lifetime ago. What happened? How did it happen? Why did it happen? You can't imagine how many times I have wondered this just to come to the same conclusion...Maybe if he didn't hang with this kid or that. Maybe if we let him go more places, Maybe this and maybe that! Its no ones fault. It happens for whatever reason as heart wrenching as it is....it is! Sometimes I wish I could relive every day again to examine everything we/they did and maybe change something...
All I can say is when you're dealing with a situation like this you must continue going forward one step at a time, one hour at a time, day at a time, or month at a time. Looking back or forward at this point is not a good thing. You just have to continue with your head up praying like crazy because this one is so out of anyone's league!!!
When people tell you having kids will change your life, it's the real deal. It's hard when their babies, toddlers, preschoolers, elementary schoolers. But the real challenge comes later. When we look ourselves in the mirror and answer the question that hopefully not one of you will ever have to ask yourself.... Am I the reason my child is an addict???
Finally I can say no to that question without a doubt! And I will keep on keeping on because that's the only thing left for me to do!
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